Turned out to be the date of the first time I told Jason I loved him. I am pretty sure he ran like hell after that since we did not start dating until the end of 1997. How do I even remember this? Well, I didn't. I finally decided to make good on a promise to myself at the start of this year (hence project 365) to clear away the clutter in my life and renew.
The other day I was fired up about a point of disagreement between Jason and I and I needed to let off steam. Most people might exercise, eat or drink but I engage in activities of avoidance and distraction (such a talent I put it on my resume). Anywho, I went to the garage and picked out one random blue plastic tub. It was a great choice since it was full of MY old letters and journals. Letters from circa 1990 to 1996 to be exact. Letters from high school and college from friends, boyfriends and family. I took some time and read some of them before throwing them out. I did keep some letters, those that were signed or had a little note from people who had passed away. (And, of course, all of those kind and loving words from my husband of 8 years/friend of 17 YEARS.)
Reading through high school letters was ridiculous. I don't remember half of the crap that was written in them. Probably for the best. I did realize I have come a long way from crazy. Then I got to thinking about why we hold onto what we hold onto. What purpose did this heap of paper and ink serve in my current life? Mostly, no purpose. BUT...
All though old forgotten words can't bring back youth or take away the many mistakes or broken relationships they can still be powerful. Sometimes words serve a reminders of who you are and where you have been in your life. Words mark how you handled and dealt with bumps in the road. They are remembrances of those people who made an impact. Words can soften a heart and make it remember who loves you most. Perhaps, a point of contention can become a point of concession.
26 February 2010
24 February 2010
On the list of things to do
21 February 2010
Touching the Stars
One of the reasons I set forth to make global changes in my life is based off a period of reflection. You know the old saying "An unexamined life is not worth living". Reflection is a practice I have held steadfast to for many years, since shortly after college. Examination has always led me to make changes. A move to Minnesota to join Americorps. A move to Chicago to be near family. Quitting a job to pursue graduate school. Quitting a job to form a business of my own. This year was not any different when it came time to reflect but the source of reflection turned outward instead of inward. I looked to a the group of amazing women who touch my life. Here are a few shining examples of those stars...
Danielle is just married. She is a yoga instructor, a physical therapist and a good friend. In her spare time between three jobs and going to school for her PhD she managed to raise $20K for children in a third world country.
Libby is an old friend from high school who opened a cafe where payment is optional. If you have no money you can help out and repay your meal. The cafe aims to use natural and organic foods. Libby and her husband opened the cafe in 2006.
P.S. Please be utterly impressed I am putting links(words of a different color) in my blog.
Danielle is just married. She is a yoga instructor, a physical therapist and a good friend. In her spare time between three jobs and going to school for her PhD she managed to raise $20K for children in a third world country.
Libby is an old friend from high school who opened a cafe where payment is optional. If you have no money you can help out and repay your meal. The cafe aims to use natural and organic foods. Libby and her husband opened the cafe in 2006.
P.S. Please be utterly impressed I am putting links(words of a different color) in my blog.
16 February 2010
Fruits of Actions
In 2003 I graduated from Colorado State with a masters of occupational therapy. My family presented me with a wonderful gift of a digital camera, an Olympus C5050 Zoom. Back in the day it was the creme de la creme of cameras. Practically a SLR. Over the years this camera has brought me such joy and endured drop after drop onto various surfaces. One day after the last and most fateful drop the hook that holds the battery casing broke. After months of brain storming (Sept 09 to Feb 10) I came up with a plan to salvage the camera. The plan was incredibly ingenious!
Using black elastic, black snaps, thread and super glue I created this solution:
It securely held the camera body and battery cover in place.
The placement of the snaps took a few tries but in the end it worked. While sewing I decided to turn the camera off. After the completion of the project I turn the camera back on. The lens starts out with a grind and whirl and is followed by a BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!. NOOOOOOO!!!!!! So much for renew and reuse.
I guess the camera is done for after all. There must be a karmic lesson hidden some where or life is preparing me for bigger challenges.
Using black elastic, black snaps, thread and super glue I created this solution:
It securely held the camera body and battery cover in place.
The placement of the snaps took a few tries but in the end it worked. While sewing I decided to turn the camera off. After the completion of the project I turn the camera back on. The lens starts out with a grind and whirl and is followed by a BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!. NOOOOOOO!!!!!! So much for renew and reuse.
I guess the camera is done for after all. There must be a karmic lesson hidden some where or life is preparing me for bigger challenges.
14 February 2010
10 February 2010
Happy
Over the course of the past month my son has become a little bit of a mama's boy. Demanding just a few more minutes and one trip back to his bedside each night. Last night after returning home from Pilates and a trip to Target, R woke up from the sound of the garage door. I was none to happy to run up stairs and scoop him up for our nightly (BAD HABIT) ritual. I open the door to his room and ask
"What's going on?"
"Mama?"
"Yes."
He quickly gathers his blankets and stands up to be picked up. We nestle into the rocking chair for a quiet cuddle.
I nuzzle the top of his hair breathing in his scent and murmur, "You make my heart happy."
He responds, "I am your happy."
All determination to get R back in bed slips down my spine and pools at my feet. We rock away quietly and in the comfort of each others presence. Mother and son.
Sigh.
"What's going on?"
"Mama?"
"Yes."
He quickly gathers his blankets and stands up to be picked up. We nestle into the rocking chair for a quiet cuddle.
I nuzzle the top of his hair breathing in his scent and murmur, "You make my heart happy."
He responds, "I am your happy."
All determination to get R back in bed slips down my spine and pools at my feet. We rock away quietly and in the comfort of each others presence. Mother and son.
Sigh.
09 February 2010
Unrequited Love
Here we are in February. The month of love. I think Valentine's day is my favorite holiday despite the fact my husband says it is created by Hallmark. So, I present to you...
The Story of St. Valentine
In 270 A.D., marriage had been outlawed by the emperor of Rome, Claudius II. Claudius issued this decree because he thought that married men made bad soldiers since they were reluctant to be torn away from their families in the case of war. Claudius had also outlawed Christianity in this time period because he wished to be praised as the one supreme god, the Emperor of Rome. Valentine was the bishop of Interamna during this period of oppression. Valentine thought that the decrees of Rome were wrong. He believed that people should be free to love God and to marry. Valentine invited the young couples of the area to come to him. When they came, Valentine secretly performed services of matrimony and united the couples.
Valentine was eventually caught and was brought before the emperor. The emperor saw that Valentine had conviction and drive that was unsurpassed among his men. Claudius tried and tried to persuade Valentine to leave Christianity, serve the Roman empire and the Roman gods. In exchange, Claudius would pardon him and make him one of his allies. St. Valentine held to his faith and did not renounce Christ. Because of this, the emperor sentenced him to a three-part execution. First, Valentine would be beaten, then stoned, and then finally, decapitated. Valentine died on February 14th, 270 A.D.
While in prison, waiting for his sentence to be carried out, Valentine fell in love with the jailer's daughter, the blind Asterius. During the course of Valentine's prison stay, a miracle occurred and Asterius regained her sight. Valentine sent her a final farewell note. He signed his last note, "From Your Valentine." Even today, this message remains as the motto for our Valentine's Day celebrations.
The Story of St. Valentine
In 270 A.D., marriage had been outlawed by the emperor of Rome, Claudius II. Claudius issued this decree because he thought that married men made bad soldiers since they were reluctant to be torn away from their families in the case of war. Claudius had also outlawed Christianity in this time period because he wished to be praised as the one supreme god, the Emperor of Rome. Valentine was the bishop of Interamna during this period of oppression. Valentine thought that the decrees of Rome were wrong. He believed that people should be free to love God and to marry. Valentine invited the young couples of the area to come to him. When they came, Valentine secretly performed services of matrimony and united the couples.
Valentine was eventually caught and was brought before the emperor. The emperor saw that Valentine had conviction and drive that was unsurpassed among his men. Claudius tried and tried to persuade Valentine to leave Christianity, serve the Roman empire and the Roman gods. In exchange, Claudius would pardon him and make him one of his allies. St. Valentine held to his faith and did not renounce Christ. Because of this, the emperor sentenced him to a three-part execution. First, Valentine would be beaten, then stoned, and then finally, decapitated. Valentine died on February 14th, 270 A.D.
While in prison, waiting for his sentence to be carried out, Valentine fell in love with the jailer's daughter, the blind Asterius. During the course of Valentine's prison stay, a miracle occurred and Asterius regained her sight. Valentine sent her a final farewell note. He signed his last note, "From Your Valentine." Even today, this message remains as the motto for our Valentine's Day celebrations.
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