Turned out to be the date of the first time I told Jason I loved him. I am pretty sure he ran like hell after that since we did not start dating until the end of 1997. How do I even remember this? Well, I didn't. I finally decided to make good on a promise to myself at the start of this year (hence project 365) to clear away the clutter in my life and renew.
The other day I was fired up about a point of disagreement between Jason and I and I needed to let off steam. Most people might exercise, eat or drink but I engage in activities of avoidance and distraction (such a talent I put it on my resume). Anywho, I went to the garage and picked out one random blue plastic tub. It was a great choice since it was full of MY old letters and journals. Letters from circa 1990 to 1996 to be exact. Letters from high school and college from friends, boyfriends and family. I took some time and read some of them before throwing them out. I did keep some letters, those that were signed or had a little note from people who had passed away. (And, of course, all of those kind and loving words from my husband of 8 years/friend of 17 YEARS.)
Reading through high school letters was ridiculous. I don't remember half of the crap that was written in them. Probably for the best. I did realize I have come a long way from crazy. Then I got to thinking about why we hold onto what we hold onto. What purpose did this heap of paper and ink serve in my current life? Mostly, no purpose. BUT...
All though old forgotten words can't bring back youth or take away the many mistakes or broken relationships they can still be powerful. Sometimes words serve a reminders of who you are and where you have been in your life. Words mark how you handled and dealt with bumps in the road. They are remembrances of those people who made an impact. Words can soften a heart and make it remember who loves you most. Perhaps, a point of contention can become a point of concession.
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