04 January 2009

Can I Get an Order of Crazy with a Side of Neurotic?

Crazy Dreams

1. Dream there is a super-human baby made of silly putty rubber and laser eyes is chasing me through a college campus with a wooded camp site in the middle of it. The baby keeps trying to burn me with it's blue laser eyes. I can't seem to shake it. I manage to smash it enough so it's rubber body stick to the ground in the middle of the camp ground. I run like hell in to a giant glass atrium/library type building. I run up these winding moving stairs (like in Harry Potter) and run into Santa Claus. I show him pictures of the evil super-human baby and beg him to help me. I see the super baby coming after me out of the corner of my eye. I start begging Santa to help me. I wake up whimpering to my husband trying to clam me by stroking my forehead.

2. Driving in a metro area. At a four way stop light in the right hand turn lane. There has just been a bad accident and there are huge shards of glass in the middle of the intersection. I really don't want to damage my car so I swerve to the left. The light changes and a lady in a red VW Rabbit starts to go before I am done turning. I know she will hit me and she does rear end me. As I get rear ended I look around and think I swerved a little to far over and this really should be my fault. Motion to the woman through my rear view mirror to pull over to the curb. I pull over and park, get out of my car and start heading towards this drive way. I bend down to examine the rear bumper of this Gold Lexus SUV and think the damage is barely noticeable. I start to wonder where the hell this lady is, stand up and realize I am looking at the wrong car. My car is parked on the curb about 1/2 block away with the lady in the red car waiting.

Crazy in Real Life
1.My son is sick. I have to go get a prescription at Walgreen's. I get some pedisure while I am there since he has not been eating that great. I go to the pharmacy counter to pick up the drugs and pay for the pedisure. The pharmacist rings it up and I hand him my flex savings card. The register kicks back the charge for the pedisure. "That is a bunch of crap." flies right out of my mouth. I have to explain to the pharmacist that it is not him that I am made at but the flex plan. I pay for the pedisure with my debit card. He hands me the receipt and throws the extra coupons that print out in the trash (I think this is the receipt for the pedisure). Walk out to the car and look at the receipt. run back in flaming mad thinking I was charged twice for the pedisure, after all the pharmacist threw the receipt out. I explain my case the the manager. He explains to me both charges are on one receipt. I look, once, blink, twice, it sinks in. I blush, apologize and walk out.
2. I have addressed a group of new year's cards to send out. I set the semi-addressed cards in one pile and the complete cards in another. I put stamps and return addresses on all of them. I drop them in the community mail box on Friday. Several hours later I panic. I dropped the ones without full addresses in the mailbox. Crap. Now I will have to wait till Monday to get them. My Aunt comes over and I tell the story. Oh wait, tomorrow is Saturday and I can go get them from the post guy. Saturday I get really distracted by plans to update the basement. My son is sleeping and I decided to take a shower before he wakes up. As I am getting dress I realize that mail is probably coming. Look out the window and confirm this to be true. Hair wet and uncombed I throw on jeans, t-shirt (no bra), shoes (no socks)and a jacket. I run to the post box and explain my predicament. The postman lets me look through the letters. Mine are all fully addressed and ready to go. I look away and sheepishly say thanks and run home like Forest Gump.

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