Off the Shelf

A few weeks back I was attending a holiday cocktail hour in a beautiful million dollar home in Boulder. Matt Damon's stunt double was the host and owner of the house. The party was catered to the nines. Glorious. All the Boulderites in their glammed out cocktail attire. Me in my pants. Panic sunk in and forced me into a corner of the kitchen for most of the night. Blinded by the sequins and satin, I realized I was having social anxiety. I had to ask myself what do these women have that I think I don't? Through out the rest of the night I made it a point to start my game plan. Get off the shelf.
The shelf comes from a one of my favorite shows, Biggest Loser. I am a big fan of The Biggest Loser. I find the show incredibly inspirational. The power of internal change is amazing. It makes me cry (what doesn't?)Bob and Jillian are constantly telling the contestants to stop putting themselves up on the shelf. This can apply to so many women (and men). It is so easy to lose sight of one's self in the everyday shuffle of life. Add a kid, husband and job to the mix and your toast. A new year is most conveniently around the corner so why not get started?
I figured most new year's resolutions get thrown out the door in the first few weeks. The approach has to be different. Reflective. Whole. 360, if you will. This is where I came up with the new blog title. I figured project off the self will most likely take all next year in order to address all areas of life - social, spiritual, financial, physical, family, work - you get the picture. Project 365 will have clear and detailed goals with the overall life theme of reduce, refresh and renew.
Welcome to the journey.

Title Change

New year. New Blog. Worth the wait.

Jenga All the Way

Well, my friends it has been a while. I have been dreaming in blog.
Thanksgiving has come and gone ushering in a very cold December. (To honor the cold weather I wore two sweaters and an undershirt today.) Thanksgiving was in Illinois this year at my Mom's house. We packed in 18 members of our extended family, added turkey, whine, wine and hoped for a non-violent outcome. You see, visiting my Mom's is a bit like having a holiday in the 1920's when TV was a luxury (because there is no TV or internet.) and people were forced to interact. Knowing this leaves you a few options:
1. Talk to your relatives (that is out)
2. Drink (always in)
3. Go for long walks along the lake in the cold and rain (sounds inviting)
4. Listen to football on the radio
5. Play JENGA!Turns out stacking wooden blocks is not only fun for small children under 3 but also for consenting adults. It also provides ample opprotunity for all those other relatives watching to, yet again, offer unsolicited advice.

In all seriousness, It was wonderful to catch up with my family. It even made me a little home sick for the mid-west where some of the friendliest an kind hearted people live. Now, if only there was more sunshine in Illinois.....

Lend Me Your Ear

The other day Rowan took a 2 plus hour nap. I was so very happy with all this napping going on. Around 4 pm I went up stairs to wake the sleeping lion so bedtime would not be an issue. I open the door to let a little light in. He rustles around in his crib as I scoop him up. I wrap him in a blanket and we go sit in the rocker to wake up. Rowan is facing me on my lap with his head on my shoulder. I pretend to munch on his ear. He sits up and looks at me with disdain then reaches into my mouth and proceeds to put his ear back on.
Some days I just can't stand it.

Vrrmmm

A little while back Rowan (my 2 year old) and I were on our way to celebrate Auntie M's birthday. Since it was a work day he and I were driving together and meeting Daddy there. Part of the way through the 20 minute drive to the eating establishment he starts raising Cain from the rear.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm stuck. I want out."
"You have your seat belt on. You have to wear your seat belt when Mama is driving. It keeps you safe. I have my seat belt on."
"Drive faster Mommy!"
I laugh at this. Then to seal the deal he states, "Next time I drive."

3 Octobers

Two Faced-book

Flawed logic may just be my best "gift". I am sure other people out there have felt these things or thought something similar but perhaps not said them out loud. Here is a great example.
Facebook is an time sucking black hole that reminds me a little of high school. And yet....
So, I am pretty sure everyone has friends on their FB that are not really friends. People acting like a notch in your FB belt. People, who, if you saw in public you might just duck behind a post or down in the booth to avoid seeing them. Pretty sure this is the case. Or maybe it is just my case. Anyway, the other day I realized I had been "de-friended" by a person who used to work in the same circle of people I do. Haven't seen or talked to this person in well over a year...going on two. Did not really care for this person in the first place and still I was flustered by the sudden severing of our precious FB connection. How dare they! Just because I ignored an invitation to their FB group. Please.
This also got me thinking. Hmm, so if a person has like 459 friends would they even notice someone missing? Maybe I just need a few hundred more notches in my belt.

Side note: snow day today. Beautiful. WAY behind in all possible things. But got to spend time with the boy (who I could kiss 24-7). The other day it took an hour to fall asleep for his nap. Today I thought I would just put him down later. Hmmm, it took him an hour to fall asleep today. Flawed logic.

25 ways to Kill Time

1. Blog - of course
2. Facebook - every procrastinator's best friend
3. Organize your photos and end up looking through all 3000 of them
4. Clean up the desk
5. Tweeze & shape eyebrows
6. Bake cookies
7. Go check the mail
8. Pretend to do billing
9. Sit an stare at the mess in the basement
10. Trim bangs
11. Start a letter to a friend but get distracted looking for a pen
12. Shine shoes
13. Go through your old t-shirt drawer
14. Start a home project and quit half way through
15. People.com
16. Garnet Hill magazine
17. Stare at your half painted basement
18. Pace around the living room aimlessly moving piles of papers
19. Shred some of the "shred pile"
20. Look through Costco coupons for items you don't need
21. Stop by TJMax to look at shoes, socks, soap and purses
22. Make a cup of tea
23. Start reading a book and fall asleep
24. Browse Craig's list
25. Make a to do list for tomorrow

Jason has his parking spot back

Flu POO!

I am pretty sure I should be sanding the damn credenza (the one that belonged to my great grandma, the one that has been in the garage since late July, the one taking up my husband's parking spot) right now. I am hand sanding. Really wish I could plug in the power sander but the kid is sleeping and the credenza is in the garage right below his room. Damn. Been sanding for an hour...time to goof off at the computer while the tiger is sleeping.

Rowan and I went to go get flu shots at the Take Care Clinic today. We waited 2 hours! Please imagine 2 hours waiting in Walgreens with a two year old boy (play mini violin). We managed. Rowan was SUCH A GOOD BOY. After waiting, and waiting, and waiting we see the nurse practitioner who tells us we are getting one of the last vaccines. Well...that was worth half the wait. Not that I am so inclined to wait for a SHOT. Now, I turn white and get light headed just LOOKING at a needle and I have to put on a brave face for my son? No problem. Get the shot, the nurse does pretty good. I do pretty good considering I got it standing up. My little angel of a son takes his shirt off, sits on my lap and says "My turn for sharp in the arm." He lets me hold his hands down and the nurse tells him to watch my face. She pokes him with the needle, he turn and watches the vaccine go in then she removes the needle. What a dude! Then HOWL! My poor baby exclaims, "She hurt me." My sentiments exactly.

Went to a "High School" Wedding

Wedding fare:
sliders
3 types of mac n' cheese with bacon bits
chow mien

Okay they are in their early 20's (like 21 and 22) but it FELT like a high school prom

You have made your bed.....

Choices. Choices. This has been on my mind lately. Just thinking about the impact of choices - both direct or indirect and maybe even unseen. The power of one person can be enormous.
Where is all of this heavy thinking coming from? Oh, I am cleaning the basement (yet again) and making space in the closet. In the process I HAVE to go through all of those things in boxes. Old letters, wedding pictures, thank you cards, cards of other occasions all in boxes waiting to be dusted off and looked through. It can suck a person in or at least a person like me.
Anyway, looking through my wedding pictures (still in a hugh box and not in an album) and emotions began to stir. It is not so much the pictures of the event but all of the relationships represented in the photos. Relationships which either still exist but have changed because of choices others or myself have made. There are also those relationships that have ended either through death or divorce or break-up. All choices made by someone or for someone. Some choices still affect people's lives today - like ripples in the water or more appropriately after-shock waves behind a earth quake. Perhaps that is why some of these things are still in boxes gathering dust. It can be easier to deal with.

The Horror!

While I have plenty of stories to tell about my recent travel adventures to NYC and thoughts about life, I will entertain with a different story. I call it "Not MY Kid".

There are certain stories you hear over and over from parents whose kids are older than yours. As you listen, rocking back and forth, holding your swaddled bundle of goodness you think "Oh, that will never happen to me. Not MY child." Examples of these stories may include biting other children at daycare, throwing an all out tantrum in your favorite store or coloring with permanent marker on the walls. Or perhaps something like this....

Ring the bell. Marilyn answers the door.
"Oh, hi Neve." Yells down stairs, "JERRY! It's Rowan's mom."
Rowan comes running upstairs and roars as he grabs my legs.
Jerry peaks around Marilyn. "Did she tell you what this little urchin did today during nap? He was lucky I wasn't here."
"No. What?" Furrowed brow.
"He took off his pants, his shirt and his poopy diaper then played in it."
Blink. Blink. Thinking inside head (NOT MY CHILD.)
Marilyn pipes in, "I don't think he was too happy about it. He did not seem to like his choice. We got him cleaned up pretty good."
What?! "He takes off his clothes?"
"Oh, yeah. He always takes off his socks and pants during nap."
Humph! News to me. So glad we have been WORKING SO HARD ON DRESSING AT HOME.
"I guess it is time to potty train. Like it or not."
Mumble apologies and try to get out as quickly as possible. So glad I can join the official ranks of "Did you hear what so-and-so's child did?".

Get ready for the cha-cha-cha. NYC here I come!

I have been shamelessly watching the video of Rowan laughing so hard he pees his diaper on FB. Love it.

So, the floor will have to dry out and then be refinished. So, much for knocking on wood.

Airing Our Dirty Laundry

Wednesday evening I went for a real road bike ride with hills and other bikers (who smoked me at every turn). 45 minutes of breaking on downhills and sucking wind on the inclines. Towards the end I am proud to say I took some downhills without breaks and discovered the joys of road biking. As as result I found my smile that has been missing for months. Apparently I needed to find my smile to prepare me for the next 72 hours.
I woke up on Thursday with a sore throat and brushed it off. By 3:00 my head was throbbing and little trolls took icepicks to my ears. By 6:00 I was calling my husband to come home NOW! Got a fever and went to bed.
Woke up an Friday with the fever and head throb called all my clients to cancel. Managed to start my period. The day went on and my head was near explosion and I could not see straight so I called the doc and made Jason drive me. Beautiful sinus infection with double ear infections. Antibiotic...all is good.
Saturday was okay; still felt crappy but we had a good day.
Sunday was nice. Took a trip to the zoo. Went grocery shopping, had dinner, gave the kid a bath and started putting him to bed. 10 till 8 listen to some snotty message from unnamed relative who can't tell time. Annoyed move into kid's bedroom to read stories. In the middle of the story Jason comes up and tells me to make it quick because the washing machine has flooded the bottom floor. Eyes bug out much like Roger Rabbit.
Join Jason down stairs to help clean up 1/2 inch of water over the entire floor. Move furniture into the garage. Pick up the sopping wet dust-fur balls that have been living under the furniture. Manage to get it all clean with out water damage (we think).
Our clothes are all over the deck along with the towels and rugs for all the neighbors to see. Our furniture and stereo equipment is safe but now takes up half the garage. At this point I am oddly grateful - we both are. Thanks to faulty genes I have several unfinished projects in the garage so we can't park the cars in there. Projects I did not get to finish because I got sick. Because of this we had room to put the furniture. Since the same genes make me late all the time we did not have time to throw in a load this morning before going to the zoo (Imagine the if Jason had not been there to stop the over flowing washer after 10 minutes....). To top it off we had already been shopping around to replace our machines that are 10 years old and eating clothes so we know which washer we want. And I am so happy we have hardwood floors and not carpet because we would still be cleaning and in a much bigger mess.
I guess my smile is more like a half smirk right now.

First Friday

So, many of my colleagues work M - TR. Today was the first Friday I have worked in like 8 years (no joke). It felt weird. I was driving back down the hill from Evergreen and started calling people to talk about the kiddo I just had a visit with. Made the first call...no answer. Made the second call...no answer. Thought that is strange; I wonder what's going on at DDRC today. About 5 minutes later my puny brain thought "OH right! It is FRIDAY."
Peace

Baby Steps - no pun intended

Hey-yo! I managed to email files and talk to a printer about getting prescription notepads and business cards printed. I have only been at this a year. My life will be WAY simpler with those stupid duplex pads.

King Fisher

A silent a fisher of men
You caught my heart as a little girl
Pulling me to you without words

It’s true; I don’t recall conversation or words you said, nothing exciting or brash
Just tight lipped smiles
Or your uproarious laugh

A quiet mystery in life
And in death
Unraveled through stories told by siblings, friends, pictures and belongings

Perhaps we are the fish and you were the water,
Unaware that it is there until it is gone
Left to seek out our own secret adventures

Written 2006 N.S.

Hawk Quest

Burstin' at the seams here with stories. Better dole them out nice and slow like.

Saturday Jason and I took our son over to the botanical gardens at Chatfield. It is open with a huge barn with chickens and goats, a stream to throw rocks in, a tree house, bee exhibit, future pumpkin patch...you get the picture. It is a place where young boys can run off energy before nap time. So, we are done throwing rocks in the stream and checking out the pumpkin patch and head towards the bee hives. The boy and I are watching bunnies hop through the bushes when out of no where swoops a hawk. It flies a few feet above my head diving down to capture a tiny baby bunny in it's talons. GASP! A few sparrows are flying near it squawking and scolding the hawk. A meadow lark is actually attached to the hawk's back as it tries to escape with it's lunch.

In the back ground my son asks "Where'd the bunny go?"

I peak around some bushes to see the baby bunny twitching a slow death. Gather up the kid and move quickly to the bee exhibit. Whew, he did not see the baby bunny. Hawk is glad we left and finishes up his interrupted lunch.

Don't They Look Purdy?

Last mother's day (2008) Jason got me a certificate to St. Jullian's Spa in Boulder. I went once and had some money left over. Well, after the debacle at the doctor's office I decided to use the rest of the certificate and pamper myself. This is the 2nd or 3rd manicure of my life. It was grand.
I took the picture against my hosta so it would be more interesting and in hopes of capturing the rainbow glitter of the polish. I have seriously been making googly eyes at my hands all last week.

PS. Total cholesterol is 153.

Alive at 35

Yesterday I celebrated with my birthday gift to myself - a physical exam. Turning 29 has really opened my eyes and with that thoughts turned to keeping this body healthy well into my 30's. Going into this appointment I knew there would be blood work since I asked to have my levels checked but there were other surprises in store.

Appointment was at 9:00 (like the best time in the world for an am appointment) and it was required that I fast the night before. So, by 9:15 in the waiting room I was a little cranky.(After all my morning coffee is half the reason I get up each day.) There is no paperwork to fill out.

The nurse's aide calls me in and tells me to pee in a cup then wait for the doctor. No problem since I had drank 30 ounces of water between 8 and 9. I do my duty and go to wait for the doctor. He is new to me. I am nervous because he is a man. But he turns out to be very gentle and kind hearted. Dr. G takes my medical history and then does the physical check. So far so good.

"Everything looks good from my end."

Super. Let's draw some blood. I am wasting away. Then he pulls up the stool. Looks through his notes.

"So, have you ever had a mammogram?"
"Yes, about 10 years ago." (Feeling anxious)
"At your age there are some tests that I recommend. One is a mammogram. The blood work, which we are doing, and a baseline echo cardiogram."

Blink. Blink. Look like a scared rabbit. My age? Stutter and look very confused.

"A mammogram?" (Never mind he also wants to check my HEART.)
"Yes. Starting at age 35 the American Medical Association likes for us to get a baseline of the breast tissue to compare with as time passes. It is good to get the baselines for that and the EKG now."

The gravity of the situation sets in. OMG, I just turned old. May as well start looking for a good retirement community. I remain in a state of shock. Wait, it is not over yet...

"When is the last time you had a tetanus shot?"

Damn it.

"1997."

They should warn people about this. Perhaps have a grief counselor in the room or something. And it does not help that I ended my day with a physical therapy appointment for my "bad" hip (Said in an old crackly voice).

White Noise

Hey y'all. You know that feeling of being run over by a freight train. Yep, I am there. People, people, people.

I have been thinking. (Danger.) I play white noise for my son when he sleeps. It sounds like an old dial radio when the station cuts out. I think I would like to install a set of small speakers behind my ears. When I want to tune out I simply reach up and touch my ear lobe and viola the white noise comes on and I hear nothing. Like when that one person follows me around with insentient chatter instead of being driven to drink I turn on the noise and everyone is happy. Motrin would end up going out of business and our house would become dry (...well...that last one is a far stretch) I would not have to use such a BIG verbal screen. I could just smile. And thanks to Beckman the corners of my mouth might actually turn up.

By the way, I think 29 will be a fantastic year. And after looking at my upper arms in these pictures I think some push ups are in order.

Some pictures of all of the recent whoop-la.





p.s. The last entry was deep thoughts that rarely get to escape the depth of this crazed brain...scary...

That which must not be named

There are words that roll around in ones mouths like misplaced pieces of gravel, sand or grit. They scrape against teeth and gums making it uncomfortable for the mouth. As if over use or misuse of the word would cause a bloodied mess.

Light hearted thoughts for a 29th re-birthday. Albeit a good day.

Work horse in the morning and slacker in the afternoon...no wonder things fall behind.

Front and Hosta Gardens

Butterfly Garden - June Phase

Queen of Rubbish

I am all cozy in the couch getting ready for some mind numbing TV. The kid is in bed (went super easy..yes!) and the husband is out with his band of biking brothers. (Yes, he met them AFTER the ride to have a beer?) Suddenly, from the monitor comes the infamous toddler sleepy moan then....
"Mom! Mom! Come here. Come here Mom." Repeat and continue for a few minutes.
I walk in his room he says nothing. I ask if it is too dark in here (at the same time run into the ottoman) and go to fix the night light. No response. Walk over to the bed and rub his back stating that it is time for night-night. As I do this a little toddler hand reaches out to find mine and.....
hands me this.....

Passes out into a sound sleep.

Mom - queen of unwanted refuse. (Kudos to anyone who gets the movie reference here : } )

The " Lilly" Garden - Phase June

On a Deeper Note

Things have changed drastically in the last decade leaving some people behind in the dust. While sitting in the dust mound with the taste of dirt in my mouth I got to thinking. The art of communication has been defunct. A few years ago (by this I mean 10) all I used to do was hang out with my friends and talk at length about politics or religion or ice cream. Our cell phones and crack berries did not ring or buzz non stop interrupting conversation. It was just us in a world standing still. We paid attention and listened without the distraction of technology. It makes me sad to think about the effort it takes at times merely to get together face to face (rather than FB) with a friend. Far greater distances have been traveled than just across town. What is worse is reading blogs to find out about the latest in each others lives rather than making a phone call or better yet getting together for a cup of coffee.
People wonder why there is such a void or a feeling of longing in their lives.
Perhaps it is because the people are missing.
Maybe it is time to put the human back in humanity.

One

Did I mention I tried to burn the house down the other day?
Last Friday in fact. I decide to make some brew for the hummingbird that never comes to my yard (but sits on the fence). I put 4 cups water with 1 cup sugar and set it to boil. As I turn on the stove I think "I'm going to forget about this" and walk away. Rowan and I go outside to play. About an hour and a half later in the middle of some extreme pruning I hear this high pitched beeping sound. What in the world is that?! Open the sliding glass door and smoke pours out. It is so thick I can't see and the smell burns my throat. I run and turn off the stove and start opening windows, doors and the garage. I am shocked no one called 911 because it looked as if the house were on fire. Smoke filled every room but the basement. The house airs out for several days before the campfire smell went away. The microwave still smells each time I use it and the stove has yellow smoke damage on it.
The pan is a caphalon ONE and is still in tact. I am a customer for life.
Here is a picture or two of the sugar water in the shape of the pan.

Two

The worst sound in the world is the sound of toddler forehead smacking against the corner of the wall.
Busy making dinner on Tuesday and the kid is busy playing. He runs past me, trips and falls into the corner.
Oh, SHIT! Okay. Okay. Still conscious and so was the kid. Breathing, crying, talking.
I try to ice it and give motrin. Pace with kid in my arms until husband gets home.
Open garage door and go ballistic.

Pictures don't do the egg sized lump justice. It raised up about 1/2 inch. Yuck.

Three

My sister and I were happily having a conversation about my Aunt's 50th birthday and shoes coming in the mail when call waiting beeps. First, I have problems keeping people on the line and answering call waiting. It is the husband so I click over to the best of my ability.
"Hey."
"Hey, what time does that urgent care close?"
"8:00. Why?"
"I don't want to tell you. I am having trouble moving my arm."
"Hold on."
Switch over and hang up with the sister while googling the other urgent care locations near the house. Successfully switch back to the husband.
"Jason. Let me call this place and I will call you back."
Call the urgent care closet to our house. It closes at 9:00. I look at the clock. 8:26. Sweet. Call husband.
"Go to the one by Wal-mart and I will meet you there." We heckle back and forth for a few minutes and I win.
Call Tracy and ask her to come over to watch Rowan (now asleep). She is at the door by the time I hang up the phone.
Swear to my self on the ride over. Turns out to be a broken arm. For all those who care -- proximal radial fracture at the ulnar head. Ortho on Monday.

I wonder what would happen if I put as much time in to my house as I did on the computer?

Morning Mama

7:00 am Enter son's room. Sit in rocking chair.

Son - "I want some chocolate."
Mama -"You can't have chocolate for breakfast!?"
Son delighted - "Yes!"
Mama- "You can't have chocolate for breakfast."
Son, still delighted - "Yes!"
Mama - "We are all out of chocolate."
Son - "I'm sad."

The Best Part of Waking Up

My favorite time of the day is waking up before the hustle and bustle and having a cup of coffee. The smell and taste...mmmm.
Even better than that first cup of coffee are the care free showers. Showers in the basement bathroom (better shower head and hotter water) after the kid has left for daycare and the husband has left for work. A late morning appointment is on the books so there is no rush. Type on the computer for an hour or so enjoying that cup of coffee then shower. Silence of the house. Birds chirp outside, heat steams up the room and my mind is quiet. Quiet, just for that moment. It is easy to get lost here.

I Just Don't Think This is Healthy

Had a really wonderful day and an all around good week. It needed to happen for me. So, I spent the evening at a fire station event in local Colorado with my family, this includes my Grandma Rita. Delicious moment. Great weather, crappy hot dogs, good company and a crazy little boy running around the fire station yelling "fire cock" (he appears to be having trouble with the word truck). We come home, my aunt stops by and we all share a glass of wine after putting the kid to bed. I water my plants in the moon light and enjoy the light breeze. What is my problem?

I come inside and get on the computer instead of going to bed. I go on to that devil site FB and read all these posts on the husband's FB page about how cute the pictures are of his kid (MY pictures thank you) and how much he looks like him. It makes me feel enraged. This is just wrong.

Baby Great Horned Owls

Sunny Days

It is just Tuesday and I am loving this week.
Sunday I went to yoga and saw some good friends. Then I got to got to the garden center by myself (paradise).
Came home and took the kid to see Earth. He sat through over and hour of the movie! Not bad for under two. It might help that we do no TV or videos at home.
Yesterday I managed to get 3 hours of gardening in before total darkness set in. It was kind of romantic in the Jane Austin sense to garden in the moon light.
Today I put a HUGH dent in the mess of papers we call a basement. Went to the ARC luncheon and saw soo many old families. Fun.

And the drum roll please.....I billed and will get paid for my first medicaid visit! And the crowd went wild!! Plus, there was a check from BCBS in the mail. Nice.

Time Out

The other morning the kid and I were hanging out getting ready for our Friday when things ran a little a muck. While I was getting our to go bag ready he was running back and forth screaming like a grade school girl. Then the kid started in on hitting the dogs with various vacuum parts.
"R, we don't hit the dogs. Use nice hands."
"RRRuuuuuu." Grits teeth while shaking vacuum part. Hits Katie.
"R, no hitting. Nice Hands."
Hits Katie.
"Do you want a time out?"
Smiles. "Yeah."
"Okay. Then go put yourself in time out."
Walks over to the time out spot and sits down. Fake cries.

Seriously, what are you supposed to do after that? Who is in charge? Clearly it is not me.

Let the Gardening Begin!

Worth the wait.

Worth the wait

Living in Colorado can be challenging but not in a bad way. It is challenging in a personal growth way. (How is that for optimism?) It teaches a person to be patient. We wait for beautiful sunny weather to stick around with out interruptions. We wait for our state economy to catch up with the rest of the US. We wait for the redneck cowboy ideals to slowly dissipate. We wait for local medicaid and insurance offices to get it right (damn it!)

On top of waiting for change on Colorado, I have been waiting for myself. Yes, myself. To wake up and make it on time all of the time. To learn what it means when someone is two, just two (not even.) To let go and be a little more understanding of others and where they are in their lives.

So during all this waiting some great and encouraging things have happened:
1. Made it on time to my 8:00 appt.
2. Made it on time with a cute spring outfit AND make up on.
3. Felt the wonderful support of a new friend.
4. Despite the fact I feel money is flying out the window we added to our net savings.
5. Got paid from an insurance company. (This should be old hat but it still is exciting each time it happens)
6. Peonies made it through the freak snow/rain storm. (Note: it is not really freak weather in Colorado since pretty much every March and April have acted this way in the last NINE years I have lived here. This is part of the Colorado personal challenge. I have to wait to garden. Hence I learn patience....OVER and OVER)
7. Started reading once again
8. Feeling the love towards my spouse--even when he is grumpy.
9. Even though SF lost my SEP check I can still contribute the money I need to for 2008.
10. Navigating the medicaid system is much easier now.

A person spends 1/3 their lives waiting. I guess we had better make it worth while.

Is This For Real?

Did I mention if one more thing goes wrong I am going to BLOW???
This is my blog so I will whine if I want to. If you don't want to listen then don't read it.

Date back to March 26th. I make an appointment with State Farm to open a SEP retirement plan before I file taxes for 2008. Needs to get done now because we leave on vacation April 3rd. Have to make another appointment because the corporate office was closed.
New appointment is set for March 30th. Agent cancels appointment because corporate did not get paper work.
Sweating.
New appointment set for April 2nd 8:00 am. Kid gets sick the night before and Jason and I pull an all nighter. Manage to make the appointment.
Fill out paper work, make copies, write check and MAIL it! Whew.

April 11th Get back from vacation. Have SEP paperwork from SF. Account established April 8th. Great.

April 14th Look at bank account to make payment on credit card. Note high balance. Huh? Look to see if SEP check has cleared. No. For the love of Bob.

April 15th call SF. Nate tells me there is no image of my check. For CRAPS SAKE! They will have to do a file search. Super. They lost my $$$$ check.

BLOW!

Did I mention my period was 5 days late and I have some crappy rash left over from strep. Whaa. Whaa. Whaa.

PS. Happy flippin' tax day.

Put Some Windex on It

While we were in on one of the open water dives in Bonaire I had a panic attack and had to be talked back down under the ocean. Once the instructor and I were back down on the bottom with Jason and the naked guy (That is another story) some nasty invisible ocean creature stung my arm (That bastard!). So, after we were finished with our dive I was inspecting my stings that looked like small blisters and Pepe, the dive instructor, came by.
"Oh! Put some windex on it! Hold on!"
What? You are sh@$#g me, right? Pepe comes over with a bottle filled with blue fluid with a taped over label that says "after sting" and sprays me with windex.
The stings were gone the next day.

All of those people who watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding are now laughing all others are like - what is the point?....


For pictures of our adventures in open water visit Randy's blog:
http://www.rubbercow.com/travel-log/
We are on page one and two...

Scuba-doba-do

Yesterday was divine. I had so much fun with the husband. It had been a long time since we had that much fun. Drove around the Washington Slaggbaai National Park for five hours. Saw crazy new birds, blow holes and beautiful "mountains" (they are really hills). Ended the day snorkeling at Slaggbaai (all the sites have strange names). Super awesome snorkel site.

But today...we scubaed. My first and second official dive. It was so unexpected. The reef just drops off into the great blue Atlantic. I thought it would be flatter. The dive instructor kept pointing out fish (big sturgeon I thought were sharks) and Jason as off in finding Nemo land. Here is a brief re-cap of what I was doing....

Breathe
Breathe
Equalize
Don't touch the coral..Don't touch it...you will kill it
Breathe
Equalize
You're too floaty come down.....too much! too much! Don't touch the coral you will kill it.
Repeat for 51 minutes and end dive.

Paradise Day Two

SLEPT IN TILL 10!
Snorkeled
Went for ice cream
Cooked out on the grill
Watched the sunset
Rocked in the hammock

Getting to paradise

It was a long road. Not just in the geographical sense.
Today is Saturday and Monday seems a life time ago. Monday I thought to my self if one more thing goes wrong before this damn vacation I will blow.
Things kept going wrong. Every dang day. Oddly or fortunately I did not have the energy to blow up. Not even when I found out I have $1300 worth of repairs. Not even when the state farm guy canceled on me for opening a retirement fund before I filed taxes. Not even when the kid got croup. And not even when I went to urgent care 2 hours before we left to find out I have strep.

Why?

This is why...

You are What You Eat

Little man and I are sitting having lunch. Soft foods, as I am recovering from the fat purple lip he gave me last night. (I do enjoy I have the full lips of Angelina Jolie but could do with out the purple.) As we are eating our beefed up Annie's mac n' cheese I wonder how many other parents eat what their kid eats. Perhaps that is why the weight is slowly creeping back up to the thighs and is getting rather cozy. Is that where the phrase cottage cheese thighs comes from?....

Same Cafe Link

Please check it out. This cafe is run by a woman I knew from high school. The cafe was just spot lighted on CBS nightly news.

The premises of the cafe is everyone pays what they can either through money or volunteering. This way everyone who come through the door can have a meal.

Please share with ALL of the people you know.

It is a Start...

Yes, that is the same basement. Now onto carpet and paint.

A Love Story

Patience is a virtue especially when it comes to waiting. We wait something like a third of our lives.

Waited 9 years to open this bottle of wine. 9 years. We romanced it. Kept it cool. Kept it in the dark. Turned it every few months. Bought it a fridge. We loved this bottle of wine.

Today we went shopping and created a special dinner in it's honor. Lamb, none the less, with turnips, red onions from Chile and carrots. All organic of course.

We opened it up and let it acclimate for an hour so it could breath in it's surroundings. The table was set with our best wine glasses. Now it was time for that wine to shine....

And shine it did.

Tablas Creek Vineyard
2000 Esprit de Beaucastel

We loved that bottle of wine. It is a shame it had to leave so quickly.

April 2009

Sigh

The grown up only weekend was post-phoned till next weekend. I was so let down. We did have one night to ourselves. My feelings of disappointment totally got in the way of being able to enjoy it. Plus, I feel even further behind with the basement and life in general.

Seriously -- I need not be so --- serious.

I was just wondering if someone would like to come finish the basement project?

Forward Progress

I think I am actually making some despite spending way too much time on other social networks. Work is coming along. I would say I am almost caught up. Now I can plan the basement update. Here is a before picture for you. GASP!This may explain the previous blog entry. Never fear it does not still look like this but I will not show more pictures until the face lift is complete. Just FYI - blue carpet with pink walls (not that you can see them in the picture). That is what we are dealing with now. At any rate anything will be a huge improvement.

Put some pictures up of the hubby and I. We do still have fun together. In fact we are having an adults only weekend (sorry losers no plans for baby making.) soon. The kid and dogs are being schlepped off to grandma and grandpa's and we are free! Not sure what we will be doing...

Off to complete my most productive day by going to the post office.

So an incredible amount of work has been done to get the basement clean and organized. It is very close to being livable. Got to thinking about the way people live their lives - like those who are extremely organized verses those who live on the edge of chaos. I think there is a certain level of constant pressure and maybe a little adrenaline mixed in when you always wait till the last minute to do things, take on more than you can handle and over extend. Some poeple (like myself) seem to thrive in it. If everything is done and in its place what is left to do?
Of course, I could do things like work out again, plan my garden, read a book. Hmm...I could even start those hobbies I used to do - go draw something or take a picture of something other than my son. Connect with myself again. Outrageous!

1:38 Sleeping hard sprawled out on stomach, likely drooling on the pillow. Enter husband with child. Butt jiggle. "Neve." Pause. "Neve." Butt jiggle. "Your son is asking for you."

"Hi Mom. Hi Mama. Mom"

Take ear plugs out, sit up and reach for son. Listen to husband comment on how he has not gotten any sleep yet. Curse inside head at husband. Take son in other room. Attempt to rock him. Son gets mad son just wanted to see mom. Wants back in crib. Fine.

"Night-night Mama."

1:43 Crawl back in warm bed. Sigh. "Mom!" Now louder "Mom!" Listen to coughing turn into crying. "Muuuummmaaaa!" Who the hell taught this kid to yell louder? Right. That would be me. Get up put on sweat shirt and go get son. Son a drink of water for whatever is in his throat. Put him back in bed. Son cries immediately. Cruse in head. Go warm up milk. Give son milk and momentarily dread upcoming days of weaning from bottle. Seriously, what is the harm in bottle feeding till 2? I do know the answer and IGNORE IT.

1:58 Take sweat shirt off and crawl back in bed. Let son who is changed and full cry it out.

2:03 Everyone falls back to sleep.

5:58 "Mom! Dada! Mum!" Shhh! Ignore son. He falls back to sleep. YES!

6:57 Get up to shower and let cursid husband sleep.


Footnote: Not sure why Rowan is doing the posting. Surprise he uses short sentences and types.
Change the blog so ANYONE can comment WITHOUT logging in. So please feel free to conversate with me.

HA! It happens to men too!

Yesterday my husband comes home from taking crap to storage and picking up dinner. We sit down to eat and he says "I had those movies next to me in the car to return. I went into McDonalds to the RedBox and look down to realize the movies I had were from Netflix. I walked all the way in with to return movies at the wrong place." I can't tell you how something that little and stupid made me feel sooo good.

On another note, good day for learning how to "deal" with insurance companies. I investigated my first claims put in under my business.

Can I Get an Order of Crazy with a Side of Neurotic?

Crazy Dreams

1. Dream there is a super-human baby made of silly putty rubber and laser eyes is chasing me through a college campus with a wooded camp site in the middle of it. The baby keeps trying to burn me with it's blue laser eyes. I can't seem to shake it. I manage to smash it enough so it's rubber body stick to the ground in the middle of the camp ground. I run like hell in to a giant glass atrium/library type building. I run up these winding moving stairs (like in Harry Potter) and run into Santa Claus. I show him pictures of the evil super-human baby and beg him to help me. I see the super baby coming after me out of the corner of my eye. I start begging Santa to help me. I wake up whimpering to my husband trying to clam me by stroking my forehead.

2. Driving in a metro area. At a four way stop light in the right hand turn lane. There has just been a bad accident and there are huge shards of glass in the middle of the intersection. I really don't want to damage my car so I swerve to the left. The light changes and a lady in a red VW Rabbit starts to go before I am done turning. I know she will hit me and she does rear end me. As I get rear ended I look around and think I swerved a little to far over and this really should be my fault. Motion to the woman through my rear view mirror to pull over to the curb. I pull over and park, get out of my car and start heading towards this drive way. I bend down to examine the rear bumper of this Gold Lexus SUV and think the damage is barely noticeable. I start to wonder where the hell this lady is, stand up and realize I am looking at the wrong car. My car is parked on the curb about 1/2 block away with the lady in the red car waiting.

Crazy in Real Life

1.My son is sick. I have to go get a prescription at Walgreen's. I get some pedisure while I am there since he has not been eating that great. I go to the pharmacy counter to pick up the drugs and pay for the pedisure. The pharmacist rings it up and I hand him my flex savings card. The register kicks back the charge for the pedisure. "That is a bunch of crap." flies right out of my mouth. I have to explain to the pharmacist that it is not him that I am made at but the flex plan. I pay for the pedisure with my debit card. He hands me the receipt and throws the extra coupons that print out in the trash (I think this is the receipt for the pedisure). Walk out to the car and look at the receipt. run back in flaming mad thinking I was charged twice for the pedisure, after all the pharmacist threw the receipt out. I explain my case the the manager. He explains to me both charges are on one receipt. I look, once, blink, twice, it sinks in. I blush, apologize and walk out.
2. I have addressed a group of new year's cards to send out. I set the semi-addressed cards in one pile and the complete cards in another. I put stamps and return addresses on all of them. I drop them in the community mail box on Friday. Several hours later I panic. I dropped the ones without full addresses in the mailbox. Crap. Now I will have to wait till Monday to get them. My Aunt comes over and I tell the story. Oh wait, tomorrow is Saturday and I can go get them from the post guy. Saturday I get really distracted by plans to update the basement. My son is sleeping and I decided to take a shower before he wakes up. As I am getting dress I realize that mail is probably coming. Look out the window and confirm this to be true. Hair wet and uncombed I throw on jeans, t-shirt (no bra), shoes (no socks)and a jacket. I run to the post box and explain my predicament. The postman lets me look through the letters. Mine are all fully addressed and ready to go. I look away and sheepishly say thanks and run home like Forest Gump.